I made it five minutes attempting to sleep in the same bed as my husband last night. Five minutes, before the “loud breathing” (that he insists is not snoring, because he “would know” if he snored) drove me to the couch downstairs. The couch because my visiting mother was in the guest bed.
Five minutes before I chose the cold leather of the recliner couch that I hate, over the hard but lumpy and unsupportive mattress (that I also hate) that I’m supposed to share with my husband. I can’t remember the last time we stayed in the same room.
Laura is getting super confused. Where is Mommy sleeping today? It’s like a really bad version of I Love Lucy, but instead of a cute nightstand separating me from my husband, we have walls.
I woke up this morning barely able to move. My hips were so achy from trying to stay on the couch without rolling onto the floor all night. My ego hurt even more. Why is it so hard for me to sleep in the same room as Nate? Why can’t I just get over the “loud breathing” long enough to fall asleep? Why do I feel like such a terrible wife?
It all leads back to the “I Wants” that I struggle with so much. I want a new mattress, one that doesn’t force me to roll right into the middle of the bed. I want a fresh coat of paint in our room, one that isn’t dreary and depressing. I want a new bedframe, one that doesn’t creak and groan with every breath. I want… I want… I want…
I think I’m actually looking forward to the sleep deprivation that will come with Gavin’s birth. At least I’ll have a few weeks where I know, without a shadow of a doubt, I’ll be able to fall asleep at the drop of a hat.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
For us the problem is me and my restless leg syndrome! It gets a million times worse when pregnant so my husband brings in the full sized mattress from our guest room ( soon to be baby room) and sleeps on that right next to our bed on the floor. I think he brought it in this pregnancy at like 8-10 weeks! :-/ Some nights we do turn a sound machine app on our iPhone on and put it in between us when the room seems too quiet. But I don’t really like doing it because I’m afraid I won’t hear Meredith wake up or anything else! I hope you are able to get some rest tonight!
Chris and I often sleep separately these days, too. Between my insomnia issues and just being so uncomfortable because I’m so pregnant, it’s often easier for him to sleep on the couch. Let’s face it, my body pillow takes up half the bed anyway! (We only have a queen, which is 14 years old.) Shelby gets confused, too, about where daddy sleeps. Poor kid. She’s probably going to announce to all her friends at school that daddy sleeps on the couch. That’s going to sound great! For what it’s worth, you could try sleeping with earplugs. They take some adjusting to, but I love mine; they drown out all kinds of stuff, although I do still hear Shelby’s cries (if something goes wrong), and she’s in the room next door (so I’m never worried I’ll “miss” anything.) They come in different shapes and decibel levels; it’s a fairly small investment. Hope you sleep better tonight!